Humph

So, we went on a nice vacation for a few days with zero kiddos. That was nice. Too bad during the vacation I received an email letting me know our house is going to be torn down to build a highway. I wasn't sure if it was for real or if it was just rumor but the first thing I saw on the news the day after we got home was our mayor standing in front of my neighbor's house talking about the plans for this highway and how it will affect many homes especially the ones on this street (OUR STREET) leaving no survivors. Wish that was in the notes when we bought this house less than a year ago.

The first things that come to mind are,
1. I sure hope our house actually does get torn down instead of building right next to our house leaving us a perfect view of this highway in turn leaving us with a mortgage more than the house will be worth once next to this highway.
2. I sure hope we are able to get what this house is actually worth.
3. I wish this could just happen quickly so we can move on with our lives instead of living in a home we know is going to be torn down sometime in our future (anywhere from 2 to infinite years).
4. I wish we didn't love our house so much and the neighborhood we live in.
5. I sure hope mortgage rates are still low when we do end up losing our house and are forced to buy a new one with a new mortgage because that's gonna hurt giving up our super low interest rate.
6. It took a long time for me to figure out where home could feel like for us and now it's time to rethink things again. I wish the options weren't endless so the decision would be easier.
7. Again, I wish this process would be a lot quicker than it's actually going to be. They must make a decision on the plans by 2013 then they will begin the process of raising money to build this thing.
8. I feel bad for people who have loong looong family ties to this area who will be affected but I am happy the environmentalists won't give up the wetlands so most likely they will have to take our home and not leave us with a highway in front of our house. (That statement has nothing to do with my need to preserve wildlife refuge but rather my need to preserve my selfishnesseses).
9. I feel lucky that our house will mostly likely be taken. I feel bad that the highway will be RIGHT in our neighbors' backyard.
10. I am a anxious about the uncertainty of our house being left and the possibility of being stuck staring at and hearing a freeway.
11. I feel silly for actually thinking we had any sort of ownership of our home. I always felt certain that we would make all of our house payments on time and pay a little extra on things here and there so our futures were in our control. The word vulnerable comes to mind when one day I am making plans to finish our basement and thinking about how I'm going to get my yard greener and plant a garden and the next I get a letter in the mail notifying me our house will most likely be taken for whatever amount they decide it's worth whenever they decide for it to happen. It's a bit upsetting but in the end I have to ask myself-what's the purpose in this life if we can predict everything that will happen and have complete control over every situation. There wouldn't be much room for learning and growth.


I am grateful because I feel like we are pretty versatile and can make friends easily and feel comfortable pretty easily so I definitely don't feel devastated from the news. In the same breath that's also one major reason I wish this could all move along faster so I don't have the time to become super attached to this area then have to leave it. I also don't like living in limbo being afraid of forming bonds with people and places to protect myself from future loss. Hmmmm, there's a community meeting that my sister-in-law went to that pretty much allows people to air their grievances and feel like they can make a difference in the plans but sadly I'm pretty sure it's all but the latter. What's going to happen is going to happen. A few street full of homes isn't going to change big plans like this.