Just thinking

There's a pile of laundry that would make Mt. Everest look like a cake walk in my bedroom, cases of food I've been stocking up for my 3 month food blocking my stairs and a craft that I started over the weekend that I haven't gotten to finishing yet that is sprawled out on my kitchen table. Somehow I made the mistake of giving myself a choice of whether I'd get busy while my hubby's over at a friend's watching a basketball game or sitting down for a minute.

Since I don't have anything to actually do while I'm sitting down I decided to look up some quotes by C.S. Lewis. He really is such an interesting person. I am drawn to his writing too. Obviously I am not the only one who finds him intriguing but I have always been very self conscious of the way I communicate verbally and in writing. I feel when I take the time I am much better on paper than I am in a spontaneous conversation but even then I usually am stumped by my limited knowledge in grammar and vocabulary. It's like everything C.S. Lewis writes is musical. It just touches my soul like a beautiful song. I haven't figured out if I'm drawn to him so much because of how everything he says just rings very true or if it's because the way he words things sounds so beautiful it would be a shame if it weren't true. Maybe it's because I grew up Christian and I've never known anything else and I can't imagine my life any other way and I find it fascinating to learn of his life and his religious journey. I've never wanted to believe in anything out of convenience. I imagine that growing up in Utah it might be difficult not being a member of the LDS church. As far as the cultural part of life here in Utah I think it would be difficult. There are different cultures in every part of this country and I think it can be an adjustment to live outside of your culture. Some people embrace differences and some people create divides. I think that's just part of life. Even inside your own culture you're going to find that you're different than your neighbors. I think we can either make ourselves welcome or we can choose to feel left out. But back to believing out of convenience, C.S. Lewis said something that I agree with. He said ""I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity." I've never had a bottle of Port but I could substitute a good movie or a nice weekend away with my husband for that bottle. I certainly can feel happy for a moment reading a great book or eating a delicious piece of godiva chocolate but I do that out of convenience. It's so simple. For me being a Christian is not convenient. I am constantly uncomfortable because I am constantly reminded of what I can do better and how I actually want those things for myself and my family. Anyway, it's late and now the husband's back and the laundry is still covering our bed and I've already fallen far behind on what I need to do tomorrow. So with that said, good night.